Three little pigs

Let us tell you a tale of 3 little pigs, but please be warned, these are pigs destined to be eaten, so those of a squeamish nature please look away now.

Once upon a time there was a young and beautiful maiden (Kiri) who was betrothed to a courageous IT worker (Steve). They wished to have hearty food at their wedding, so in the December before they were due to be wed, at a village celebration they approached the local pig farmer. Happily he agreed to let them sponsor a piglet through its life and suggested that the beautiful maiden should visit yon farm to select the piglet.

One cold afternoon in February (the EXIF data of the below image says that it was 16:02) the fair maiden did venture to the farm and, after consideration chose the piglet. This piglet was strong. This piglet was aggressive. This piglet was ginger. This piglet had sticking up hair. The friendly farmer confirmed that the maiden had chosen well.

Upon informing the brave IT worker of the choice, the pig was duly named “Chester” and his fate was sealed. Or was it?

Let us look at another part of the story now, for we said this was a tale of 3 little pigs; not just one. Our second pig is destined for the village’s Queen’s Diamond Jubilee and once again belongs to the same pig farmer, but is slightly smaller. This pig will be roasted in June on the same pig roaster as Chester (but 3 months earlier) and is estimated to be just the right size for the roaster by then (a maximum of 70kg). Chester has 3 extra months of frolicking and foraging and therefore will probably be too big. In the meantime, his punk hairstyle has made him popular in the village where he has the nickname of “Punky the Wedding Pig”. His size (and fame?) may have actually saved his bacon.

And so onto the third pig. There is indeed a third pig. There’s always a third pig. His/her name is unknown, but he/she is smaller than Chester/Punky and the Jubilee pig. He/she is the chosen one.

A story about three little pigs would not be a proper story without a wolf, but unfortunately as there are no wolves in this country we’ll just have to stick with a picture of Ruby, the friendly sheepdog from next door!